When you get into a relationship and want to keep it casual, it’s always best to make your intentions clear from the beginning. Or you’d have one confused lover and one frustrated lover in the relationship, and that’s never going to bode well for the relationship, even if it’s only a casual one.
1 Don’t get confused with your emotions
It’s easy to believe you’re falling in love with your casual partner. If you think you’re seriously falling for your partner, avoid them for a few weeks and see if you still miss them. If you can move on or don’t see a need to have this friend in your life for reasons beyond casual sex, you’re just experiencing a case of mild infatuation
2 Don’t be controlled.
A casual relationship involves two people. But almost always, one person has complete control over the other person. The dominant partner decides when to hook up, and when to avoid each other.
If you find your partner too dominant or controlling, chances are, you’re falling in love with them and agreeing to anything they say only because you can’t bear the thought of losing them or staying away from them. If you feel controlled or dominated, walk away before you get your heart broken
3. Set the Ground Rules.
There are no hard and fast rules in casual relationships. But that doesn’t mean there are no rules at all. A few basic rules could go a long way in making the relationship work for both of you. Ask your casual partner these questions once you establish that a casual relationship is what both of you are looking for.
# Are you okay with being non-exclusive and dating other people at the same time?
# If one of us falls in love with someone else, can we end things abruptly?
# How many times do you think we should meet each other in a month? helps both of you understand each other’s expectations
# Are we going to keep this relationship a secret from everyone else?
# If it’s not working out for you, will you tell me about it the very instant you feel it?
Asking each other these questions can help both of you discuss the awkward things that aren’t easy to talk about. You may think these questions are just awkward and not very important, but within a month or two, you’d wish you had the answers to these questions already!
4. Don’t say that you love this person.
It’s very easy to feel intensely attracted to someone you’re having sex with and spending time often. If you feel like saying ‘I love you’ because they make you feel so good, hold that thought. Saying those three words will take your relationship to a whole new stage. Or it may even end the relationship for good.
5. Be Truthful about your feelings.
If you don’t think it’s working out, talk to your casual buddy about it. If the sex is boring or the together times are awkward and empty, chances are, you’re losing interest in this person.
On the other hand, if you wake up thinking of this person or slip into bed fantasizing about this casual partner of yours, you’re probably falling in love with them. Talk to your friend and ask them if they’d ever be able to see this relationship as something beyond a casual relationship. And when you get your answer, you get to make a decision too
6. Talk about it if one of you crosses the line
A casual relationship is full of invisible boundaries. You don’t ask about your casual partner’s dates or their other hook ups. You don’t have any control on them or the relationships you get into.
But the few things you do have complete control over are when your partner oversteps the boundaries, talks about love, or tries to control you or the people you meet. If you feel threatened or awkward at any point of time, you need to mention it so your partner knows what’s on your mind.
Don’t fall for manipulation, and don’t manipulate your casual buddy. Don’t say things that can confuse them like “I can’t imagine not having you in my life, but I do want you to meet other people and fall in love with someone else…
You’re just screwing with their mind and confusing them. So are you falling in love? Are you telling them to meet start dating someone else? If you want the casual relationship to work out, be truthful and avoid manipulating your partner.
8. They want a relationship but just not with you
It sounds rude and harsh, but at times, it’s the truth and you just have to accept it. When you’re in a casual relationship, both of you are just using each other until a better person comes along.
So don’t have high hopes from this kind of a casual romance. Instead, have fun, take it easy and keep your options open instead of having just one long term exclusive casual relationship because it defies the whole point of being in a casual relationship until someone better comes along
9, Emotionally Unavailable Relationship.
A person who wants a casual relationship is usually the kind of partner who is emotionally unavailable for a serious relationship. They want all the benefits of a sexual relationship, without the baggage of being emotionally available to their lover.
Many bad relationships or a bad breakup could make some of us lose faith in love for a while, and it’s in these moments that people go looking for casual relationships instead of a committed one. When you get into one, don’t be surprised to see that your partner is completely emotionally closed off from you
10 Don’t get trapped
One of the biggest things you need to be wary of in a casual relationship is getting trapped in the relationship. You may not realize this until you’re ready to step out of the relationship.
Each time you try to end the relationship or drift away from your casual partner, does your partner try to get closer to you even if they were the one who was drifting away in the first place? If you’re in a casual relationship with someone who tries to cling to you or trap you by pretending to fall in love with you each time you want to get away, you’re probably dating a selfish person who just wants your attention all the time, even if they don’t care about you!